Only in America

"Family annihilators" show how conservative America's fetish for guns and patriarchy turns deadly.

Photo by Tom Def on Unsplash

I’m not sure a more disturbing term exists than “family annihilator.” Every five days, according to an analysis by the Indianapolis Star, a person murders his family. 94% of the time, the killer is a man. 86% of the time, he uses a gun. 84% of the time, his victim is a woman.

And, notably, these killings happen largely in the South and the Midwest: The conservative swaths of the US where guns are broadly accessible, and where gender roles are more traditional.

The question of why men kill their families isn’t all that complicated. These men are often deep narcissists who demand subservience and control. But that sense of entitlement is not inborn; it’s cultural, and it comes from a society, and particular communities, that tell men it is their birthright to lead, to be in charge, to provide, and to enjoy the respect of women, children, and broader society.

Men who mistreat their partners and families are forgiven a lot, and yet they demand more. In many communities, the expectation that men display even a modicum of decency is lower than a dachshund’s belly, something we see in the aftermath of family annihilation murders. The Indianapolis Star looks at the Mumper family, killed by the family’s father, and quotes a niece as saying, “I like to think that he loved them. He just wasn’t the best at showing it.” 

Murdering your whole family is indeed a pretty bad way of showing it.

“I know husbands kill their wives,” she continued. “I know no marriage is perfect. But why would you kill your children? As a parent, I don’t understand that. I will never understand that.”  

When everyday misogyny is so engrained that “husbands kill their wives” is not a shocking statement but simply a part of your normal, a think you inherently “know,” it’s really no wonder that husbands feel entitled to abuse and sometimes kill their wives.

Then there was the Utah man who killed his wife, his mother-in-law, his five children, and himself, whose obituary nonetheless read, “Michael made it a point to spend quality time with each and every one of his children. Michael enjoyed making memories with the family.”

The obituary touted his time as an Eagle Scout, and his dedication to the Mormon church. It didn’t mention that the last memory his family had of him was when he murdered them all.