This Holiday Season, Gift Experiences

Experiences make us happier than things. Give the gift of pleasure, knowledge, adventure, or just a great time.

The Dior tree, capturing the true meaning of Christmas.

Somehow it’s mid-December, and for those who celebrate, Christmas is in two weeks(!). Which means it’s also the most hyper-consumptive time of the year. I’m living in Hong Kong these days, and Christmas here is fascinating in part because there’s really no veneer of Christianity: It’s a straight-up retail festival, with Christmas trees decked out in luxury-label branding and hotels and malls dripping in the same. I stopped in for tea at a storied hotel the other weekend and spent an hour watching families pose around the Chanel tree. It’s really something, and while I am sure there are plenty of religious Christians around who celebrate the reason for the season, as they say, as far as I can tell the War on Christmas has been waged here, and the capitalists won. Which is actually kind of refreshing, to dispense with all of the religious pretext for a holiday that is, for many and perhaps most people in the US as well, primarily about buying stuff.

All of that said, one other outcome of moving here is that I want way less stuff. My flat is tiny, for one, so I have to be pretty thoughtful about what I bring into it. And for two, when my husband and I packed up our lives and moved halfway around the world, it became pretty clear how much crap we had accumulated that we really didn’t need. As we’ve now been filling our new space, it’s been a nice practice to focus on the essentials, and to ask: Do I really need this? How do we want to live in and utilize this particular space, in this particular city?

One answer: I want to live in the city, not in my apartment. I’d rather use my limited resources on going out to dinner at a new restaurant, or paying for a group yoga class, or hopping a plane, train, or bus to a nearby destination, not buying another handbag or tchotchke or kitchen appliance I’ll use once every six months.

So in thinking about doing a holiday gift guide for this newsletter, I thought it might be more interesting to focus on gifts that are experiential and thoughtful instead of just telling you “here’s what I bought this year that I liked.” Because to be honest with you, when I think back to the best parts of the last year, none of it had to do with stuff — it all had to do with going to interesting places, with spending time with interesting people, with trying out new things, with moving my body, with expanding my mind, and and with taking in art and culture.

So! Here are a few experience-based gifts to give this holiday season:

• Tickets to a concert, ballet, play, comedy, or other live show. In our post-Covid era, the performing arts are still struggling. What does the gift receiver enjoy? Jazz? Opera? A particular podcast that may have live shows around the country? Season tickets to a theater, a sports team, or other local favorite are also a great gift.

• An annual membership to a local botanical garden, zoo, museum, or other nearby attraction they like to visit. If you’re in the US, a national parks pass makes a great gift for people who like hiking and exploring (and I’m guessing many other countries offer something similar).

• A food or beverage subscription — a lot of local wine shops offer wine of the month clubs; ditto cheese from local cheese chops. Bonus if you do this through a small local business, which certainly will appreciate your support. Yes, this is technically “stuff,” but it’s stuff meant to be enjoyed with others.

• A gift card to a local spa, massage therapist, or other venue for relaxation.

• Airline, train, or hotel gift cards so they can put the money toward a trip.

• A monthly book subscription. If you have a favorite local bookstore, check and see if they offer one. Or feel free to use my old local, Books Are Magic.

• Lessons or groups classes: Foreign language, photography, ceramics, jewelry-making, painting, tennis, ice skating, pasta-making, wine tasting, whatever it is they’ve been wanting to learn but haven’t made time for or been able to afford.

• Exercise: If they’re a gym rat, maybe a session with a personal trainer; if they go to a fitness studio (yoga / pilates / barre / etc), maybe a class pack.

• I wrote in my other newsletter about the writing + yoga retreats that I run around the world. In 2024, I’m co-hosting retreats in Kenya, Morocco, Scotland (sold out), Greece, and Tuscany. These make really great gifts, for yourself or someone else. It’s pretty seldom that we get to travel to incredible places with a great group of people and have someone else take care of all of your needs, plus create a space for you to exercise your physical body and your creative brain.

• A subscription to a newspaper, magazine, or this newsletter :)

Also: The holidays are a great reason to gather, either on holidays themselves or in anticipation of them. Treat a friend to a dinner out. Invite loved ones over for cheese and champagne. Go to the happy hour your colleague organized. Do a group 5k. We do not gather nearly enough, do not celebrate nearly enough, and too often fail to show our loved ones how much we value them. We are on this planet for such a short period of time. Give generously: Your money, your time, your love. And in the new year, think about how you spend your resources, and what makes you happy: What builds memories, makes you feel whole, makes you feel connected, makes you feel challenged to grow. That’s the good stuff. Invest in it. Share it. Give it.

xx Jill