Thank you for including the voices of Black women and acknowledging the racist system that allows white women to write about rape without considering race.
I'm taking in how you are taking in the huge variety of feedback. You may have steadier nerves than I; I do have many extra years on the planet which may offset a possible deficit in my vagal tone.
As we tended to be, in the beginnings of the Second Wave in the 60s when I was very active, a good deal more aggressive, I'm feeling that pattern needing to grow again, but bigger.
Backlash is a bitch and we very much had our share of it. Some of us just plain got worn down. Our numbers were very much smaller and we adopted the 'rule of two' when interacting with the media so they couldn't pick out this 'star' and that 'star' to break up our strike force.
We felt the full weight of male insecurity striking us from so many angles and pissholes, meeting and confronting us at every turn, that the battlefield was everywhere and anywhere. Our sanctuaries - consciousness raising (CR), women's bookstores, dances, bars - gave us more or less continuous refresh zones. Guerilla warfare kept us aggressive because we had to keep harrassing the enemy. So few men 'got it', tuning to our higher wave length, that I can now marvel at the much greater numbers who have, or maybe I'm easily impressed by any seemingly
greater support from them?
To my point about aggression, its strategies and tactics, I am feeling the lack of that collective strength today, and have been for some time noticing a need for some kind of CR to supply and resupply our collective energies.
I have been part of so many battles that I don't think I could recall every one anymore. The lessons we learned from them may not be sufficiently carrying over to the 4th wave; we old soldiers are dying out, or deeply retired, and been receded into herstorical ignorance.
It looks to me a good time to take up aggression in a new way. Fifty years ago - 2 1/2 generations - we had to dig impossibly deeply to figure out the depths of 5000 'P' years' effects on our own psyches along with taking note of the male ones. The Third Wave kind of coasted or maybe I wasn't paying close enough attention. Now the grandkids can learn from the grandmothers and vice versa. I say 'kids', not only females
now because I have met enough young men who do thoroughly get it.
And still, women need to be in, and take charge of, the way forward,
especially in this heavily prejudiced
era, may it be a short one. It's way beyond time to do major surgery on the male psyche that is their major human failing, with the only cuts barred being those that are truly unkind.
For your possible interest, I'm coming up to 85 years on the planet. I came out of my first closet at age 34, and have unlocked more as my ever curious being feels other confines looking for
keys that fit. Aspie and empath are the latest. I've been nourishing my Reconstructionist Jewish soul.
I read that you're looking for takes on Millenials. My granddaughters
are 30 and 32; I'm kind of taking notice and notes; another conversation. My daughters are Boomers. Not sure I can contribute meaningfully yet. Maybe an ongoing conversation.
Can you elaborate more on what you're saying here? - I'm not clear on what you mean exactly. But on the issue of Kobe being sent to prison (instead of what happened) -- For me - I don't think anything would have been helped by Kobe going to jail. - The reporting on this story shows that the victim dropped charges because of the severe harassment she was getting outside of the courtroom, and inside of it too. She was labeled by the defense as "promiscuous", which is so incredibly subjective and sexist that it shouldn't even be allowed to be mentioned in court. - Then there was the civil case, the settlement, and Kobe's apology, which was a better apology that is usually given in such a situation. -- I understand why he pleaded 'not-guilty' - I can even understand why he felt that it wasn't rape. (I don't agree with him - but - it's not uncommon for men to not really understand that sex with a woman who says she's changed her mind and doesn't want to have sex now, is still rape. (even without bruises on her neck, vaginal tearing, blood etc. that was the result of this particular sex, which certainly makes it sound more like rape). -- Is it the same as a serial rapist who stalks women, looking to rape them? No. - I don't think that Kobe Bryant falls under the category of "rapist", at least not in the sense that we generally think of what a "rapist" is. -- However. I believe what he did was rape. (and I appreciate that, in the apology, he acknowledged that the victim saw it differently than he did, and he was sorry for the pain he'd caused her.) -- All that to say, our justice system doesn't have an acceptable way to deal with a first offender, without a violent or criminal past, who is unlikely to re-offend. -- I wish he'd been found guilty, but rather than prison, been assigned to pay some restitution to the victim, attend relevant counseling, do community service that would in some way serve women, and rather than being labeled "rapist" for the rest of his life, or being fired from basketball etc., to be allowed to be a young man who'd made a terrible mistake, and had taken significant action to make up for it. Clearly he has done a lot of good in his all too short life, that he wouldn't have been able to do had he gone to prison. And clearly too, we don't need more young men in prison; unless it is truly to protect society from an person known to be dangerous. -- What I'm 'dreaming of" here is very much an ideal, but if we are ever to truly be something that can be called a "great country" we have to significantly change, re-build and heal our justice system, and we need to strive for ideals. AND we need to keep getting the word out that women cannot be subjugated, abused, attacked, raped, or told to shut up and go away. -- Changes and reforms like that would help all people - and all genders.
Thank you for including the voices of Black women and acknowledging the racist system that allows white women to write about rape without considering race.
So many women wrote the most amazing thought provoking clear truthful words about Kobe. Thank you for sharing their words as well.
As a very soon to be blogger myself,
I'm taking in how you are taking in the huge variety of feedback. You may have steadier nerves than I; I do have many extra years on the planet which may offset a possible deficit in my vagal tone.
As we tended to be, in the beginnings of the Second Wave in the 60s when I was very active, a good deal more aggressive, I'm feeling that pattern needing to grow again, but bigger.
Backlash is a bitch and we very much had our share of it. Some of us just plain got worn down. Our numbers were very much smaller and we adopted the 'rule of two' when interacting with the media so they couldn't pick out this 'star' and that 'star' to break up our strike force.
We felt the full weight of male insecurity striking us from so many angles and pissholes, meeting and confronting us at every turn, that the battlefield was everywhere and anywhere. Our sanctuaries - consciousness raising (CR), women's bookstores, dances, bars - gave us more or less continuous refresh zones. Guerilla warfare kept us aggressive because we had to keep harrassing the enemy. So few men 'got it', tuning to our higher wave length, that I can now marvel at the much greater numbers who have, or maybe I'm easily impressed by any seemingly
greater support from them?
To my point about aggression, its strategies and tactics, I am feeling the lack of that collective strength today, and have been for some time noticing a need for some kind of CR to supply and resupply our collective energies.
I have been part of so many battles that I don't think I could recall every one anymore. The lessons we learned from them may not be sufficiently carrying over to the 4th wave; we old soldiers are dying out, or deeply retired, and been receded into herstorical ignorance.
It looks to me a good time to take up aggression in a new way. Fifty years ago - 2 1/2 generations - we had to dig impossibly deeply to figure out the depths of 5000 'P' years' effects on our own psyches along with taking note of the male ones. The Third Wave kind of coasted or maybe I wasn't paying close enough attention. Now the grandkids can learn from the grandmothers and vice versa. I say 'kids', not only females
now because I have met enough young men who do thoroughly get it.
And still, women need to be in, and take charge of, the way forward,
especially in this heavily prejudiced
era, may it be a short one. It's way beyond time to do major surgery on the male psyche that is their major human failing, with the only cuts barred being those that are truly unkind.
For your possible interest, I'm coming up to 85 years on the planet. I came out of my first closet at age 34, and have unlocked more as my ever curious being feels other confines looking for
keys that fit. Aspie and empath are the latest. I've been nourishing my Reconstructionist Jewish soul.
I read that you're looking for takes on Millenials. My granddaughters
are 30 and 32; I'm kind of taking notice and notes; another conversation. My daughters are Boomers. Not sure I can contribute meaningfully yet. Maybe an ongoing conversation.
Blessings.
♥️♥️
After the rape, try to consider Kobe's life if he'd spent 5-7 years in prison, then reconsider a lifetime of consequences for the victim.
Can you elaborate more on what you're saying here? - I'm not clear on what you mean exactly. But on the issue of Kobe being sent to prison (instead of what happened) -- For me - I don't think anything would have been helped by Kobe going to jail. - The reporting on this story shows that the victim dropped charges because of the severe harassment she was getting outside of the courtroom, and inside of it too. She was labeled by the defense as "promiscuous", which is so incredibly subjective and sexist that it shouldn't even be allowed to be mentioned in court. - Then there was the civil case, the settlement, and Kobe's apology, which was a better apology that is usually given in such a situation. -- I understand why he pleaded 'not-guilty' - I can even understand why he felt that it wasn't rape. (I don't agree with him - but - it's not uncommon for men to not really understand that sex with a woman who says she's changed her mind and doesn't want to have sex now, is still rape. (even without bruises on her neck, vaginal tearing, blood etc. that was the result of this particular sex, which certainly makes it sound more like rape). -- Is it the same as a serial rapist who stalks women, looking to rape them? No. - I don't think that Kobe Bryant falls under the category of "rapist", at least not in the sense that we generally think of what a "rapist" is. -- However. I believe what he did was rape. (and I appreciate that, in the apology, he acknowledged that the victim saw it differently than he did, and he was sorry for the pain he'd caused her.) -- All that to say, our justice system doesn't have an acceptable way to deal with a first offender, without a violent or criminal past, who is unlikely to re-offend. -- I wish he'd been found guilty, but rather than prison, been assigned to pay some restitution to the victim, attend relevant counseling, do community service that would in some way serve women, and rather than being labeled "rapist" for the rest of his life, or being fired from basketball etc., to be allowed to be a young man who'd made a terrible mistake, and had taken significant action to make up for it. Clearly he has done a lot of good in his all too short life, that he wouldn't have been able to do had he gone to prison. And clearly too, we don't need more young men in prison; unless it is truly to protect society from an person known to be dangerous. -- What I'm 'dreaming of" here is very much an ideal, but if we are ever to truly be something that can be called a "great country" we have to significantly change, re-build and heal our justice system, and we need to strive for ideals. AND we need to keep getting the word out that women cannot be subjugated, abused, attacked, raped, or told to shut up and go away. -- Changes and reforms like that would help all people - and all genders.