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I am a 78 year old semi retired civil rights lawyer in Kansas City who in recent years has found gardening to be a world apart. My native flowers planted for butterflies and bees and my vegetables planted for me become a respite from the world, as Robert Frost wrote a mood apart.

“Once down on my knees to growing plants

I prodded the earth with a lazy tool

In time with a medley of sotto chants;

But becoming aware of some boys from school

Who had stopped outside the fence to spy,

I stopped my song and almost heart,

For any eye is an evil eye

That looks in on to a mood apart."

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Your post makes me think of the excellent book "The Wild Braid" A Poet Reflects on a Century in the Garden" by Stanley Kunitz, with Genine Lentine, which I recently re-read.

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What was once protective can eventually smother.

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Just a few words, so much weight in them. This concept @JillFilipovic called out has been on my mind all day. At first the protective may be welcome - a parent, a mentor, a workplace, a job, a partner, a friend, a garment, even something like a trust account. Yet what felt safe at the beginning can indeed evolve into a feeling of being smothered by the protective.

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