More American parents are choosing names that cross the gender binary. But they're mostly crossing in one direction, and that tells us something important.
This reminds me of the well-studied phenomenon where once a job changes stereotypical genderedness, its prestige and compensation change oh so predictably. For example, when computer programming was a woman's job, it was largely considered boring and menial and maybe only a slight variation from work as a secretary, but around the start of the microcomputer revolution suddenly it flipped to a male-centric job and became an intellectual and better paid career (with a depressingly misogynistic culture springing up around it). Or going way further back in history, brewing ale switched at some point from women's work to men's work and everything changed about its prestige — or vice versa, when medieval men did much more household work that later switched to women's work.
It also brings to mind that old brainteaser about the father and child in a car crash, the father dies on the scene but when the child is brought to the hospital the surgeon says "I cannot do this — this is my son". It doesn't work nowadays: nobody younger than me would have a hard time conceptualizing that the surgeon could be the child's mother, or the child have two fathers, or there being a blended family etc. However, I do wonder if you replaced 'father' with 'mother' and 'surgeon' with 'nurse' whether it would still trip people up.
Men can become secretaries any time they want. There's nothing stopping them and never has been. But they don't because, generally, men don't want to do that kind of work and never will. If low-skill male workers want a job, they go into bricklaying, maintenance, or construction. What is with this feminist obsession with making men into something they're not?
PS: If there ever is a boy named Olivia, I pray to God he ends up gay, because I guarantee that the overwhelming majority of straight women will never bang a guy named Olivia. Sorry, I live in the real world, not some bizarre progressive, utopian echo chamber.
I agree we shouldn't obsess about what percent of plumbers are women or what percent of preschool teachers are men. That being said, as someone who grew up with three brothers and is now a mom to three boys, males are more boxed in by gender than females. And there's a cost to that, simply from their own point of view.
And as for a guy named Olivia — I've been married for decades, but for the straight, single women I know, the question is: Can he hold a job and a conversation? I don't think they'd care what his name is. Plus, 20 years from now, who knows how desirable any name will be. So that's what nicknames are for.
It just seems like the "boys should be named Olivia," and "men should be secretaries" are outgrowths of the "gender is just a social construct" philosophy. I don't agree. I think men are women are fundamentally wired differently, and we prioritize different things in each other. I also think men prefer feminine women and women prefer masculine men. Yes, I understand that's not true in all cases, but doesn't it make more sense to emphasize the rule over the exception?
Your own statement, "Can he hold a job?" proves it. An unemployed women, even if just moderately attractive, can still find a boyfriend. An unemployed man? Not a chance, even if he looks like Brad Pitt. There might be girls that will date a man named Olivia. All I know is I could never date a woman named Chuck.
I appreciate your perspective. We have a lot of lively debates within my family about topics like these and no one ever fully agrees. But ultimately, we're all on the same side. I care just as much about my sons' futures and I do my daughter's. And I know that's the case with people who have different viewpoints too.
My late exhusband's name was Dale Lynn ----------------. His mother wanted a boy but while she was pregnant she decided on gender neutral names in case the baby was a girl. I also knew a boy named Lynn in high school.
Evelyn used to be a man's name, as was Hillary. Both are now exclusively names for women. So were Beverly, Afton, Madison, Kim, Francis/Frances, Gale, Marion, and there are more.
Lately, having spent several hours in ER and other medical situations, I have been seeing (or maybe it's just noticing) numerous male nurses. And as for names, I still wonder why a family named Inch would name their son Justin.
This reminds me of the well-studied phenomenon where once a job changes stereotypical genderedness, its prestige and compensation change oh so predictably. For example, when computer programming was a woman's job, it was largely considered boring and menial and maybe only a slight variation from work as a secretary, but around the start of the microcomputer revolution suddenly it flipped to a male-centric job and became an intellectual and better paid career (with a depressingly misogynistic culture springing up around it). Or going way further back in history, brewing ale switched at some point from women's work to men's work and everything changed about its prestige — or vice versa, when medieval men did much more household work that later switched to women's work.
It also brings to mind that old brainteaser about the father and child in a car crash, the father dies on the scene but when the child is brought to the hospital the surgeon says "I cannot do this — this is my son". It doesn't work nowadays: nobody younger than me would have a hard time conceptualizing that the surgeon could be the child's mother, or the child have two fathers, or there being a blended family etc. However, I do wonder if you replaced 'father' with 'mother' and 'surgeon' with 'nurse' whether it would still trip people up.
Men can become secretaries any time they want. There's nothing stopping them and never has been. But they don't because, generally, men don't want to do that kind of work and never will. If low-skill male workers want a job, they go into bricklaying, maintenance, or construction. What is with this feminist obsession with making men into something they're not?
PS: If there ever is a boy named Olivia, I pray to God he ends up gay, because I guarantee that the overwhelming majority of straight women will never bang a guy named Olivia. Sorry, I live in the real world, not some bizarre progressive, utopian echo chamber.
I agree we shouldn't obsess about what percent of plumbers are women or what percent of preschool teachers are men. That being said, as someone who grew up with three brothers and is now a mom to three boys, males are more boxed in by gender than females. And there's a cost to that, simply from their own point of view.
And as for a guy named Olivia — I've been married for decades, but for the straight, single women I know, the question is: Can he hold a job and a conversation? I don't think they'd care what his name is. Plus, 20 years from now, who knows how desirable any name will be. So that's what nicknames are for.
It just seems like the "boys should be named Olivia," and "men should be secretaries" are outgrowths of the "gender is just a social construct" philosophy. I don't agree. I think men are women are fundamentally wired differently, and we prioritize different things in each other. I also think men prefer feminine women and women prefer masculine men. Yes, I understand that's not true in all cases, but doesn't it make more sense to emphasize the rule over the exception?
Your own statement, "Can he hold a job?" proves it. An unemployed women, even if just moderately attractive, can still find a boyfriend. An unemployed man? Not a chance, even if he looks like Brad Pitt. There might be girls that will date a man named Olivia. All I know is I could never date a woman named Chuck.
I appreciate your perspective. We have a lot of lively debates within my family about topics like these and no one ever fully agrees. But ultimately, we're all on the same side. I care just as much about my sons' futures and I do my daughter's. And I know that's the case with people who have different viewpoints too.
My late exhusband's name was Dale Lynn ----------------. His mother wanted a boy but while she was pregnant she decided on gender neutral names in case the baby was a girl. I also knew a boy named Lynn in high school.
Evelyn used to be a man's name, as was Hillary. Both are now exclusively names for women. So were Beverly, Afton, Madison, Kim, Francis/Frances, Gale, Marion, and there are more.
Lately, having spent several hours in ER and other medical situations, I have been seeing (or maybe it's just noticing) numerous male nurses. And as for names, I still wonder why a family named Inch would name their son Justin.