It maybe the invisibility and isolation women experience that ultimately leads to the need to write and share their own personal experiences. Women wronged and treated unfairly in a partnership want validation. Publishing a narrative is finally their voice heard. I hope we continue to see the unmasking of the bad behaviors and sexism we have put up with and the men who refuse to recognize their entitlements and secondary gains of employment and lack of contributing to emotional and domestic labor at home. Personally, I felt shame for a long while that I had not addressed the inequities that existed in my marriage, however it is the load of care taking and domestic labor that isolates many women, erodes their confidence and support in taking action.
Haven’t seen Maggie Gyllenhaal’s new movie, The Lost Daughter, but it sounds like it might deal with these issues in an interesting way. When I read the essay about marriage requiring amnesia it struck me as marriage-positive. It’s about the relationship. Being so close to someone for so long, you get to know them (and yourself) so well that the relationship becomes a different thing. Less stoking of illusions, more coping with facts. Not in a bad way, necessarily, although it can be, and often is, fatal to relationships. Amnesia and a sense of humor, which the author has in good measure!
As far as the institution of marriage and the gender roles traditional to it, I like Betty Friedan’s formulation, or my understanding of it anyway. Loosely translated, a person, male or female, has to have and live their own life. Marriage isn’t an escape from or a substitute for that and doesn’t work if it requires or becomes a way for either party to avoid that. You’re right. This is not the traditional view, and it’s the truth.
So many thoughts and questions. I'm curious what the data tells us about differences between same-sex couples and straight couples and between couples with children compared to couples without and between single people with children compared to couples with children or singles without . I'm curious about alternative social structures such as collectives. I wonder about the role financial resources play in increasing one's choices and opportunities. I wonder about the gap between expectations and reality. And I wonder about trying to have it all at the same time given that a women's peak reproductive years often coincide with peak career years. What if they didn't? Or what if there were creative social policies to support especially women having children and having a career at the same time eg paid parental leave, paid childcare, etc?
It maybe the invisibility and isolation women experience that ultimately leads to the need to write and share their own personal experiences. Women wronged and treated unfairly in a partnership want validation. Publishing a narrative is finally their voice heard. I hope we continue to see the unmasking of the bad behaviors and sexism we have put up with and the men who refuse to recognize their entitlements and secondary gains of employment and lack of contributing to emotional and domestic labor at home. Personally, I felt shame for a long while that I had not addressed the inequities that existed in my marriage, however it is the load of care taking and domestic labor that isolates many women, erodes their confidence and support in taking action.
Haven’t seen Maggie Gyllenhaal’s new movie, The Lost Daughter, but it sounds like it might deal with these issues in an interesting way. When I read the essay about marriage requiring amnesia it struck me as marriage-positive. It’s about the relationship. Being so close to someone for so long, you get to know them (and yourself) so well that the relationship becomes a different thing. Less stoking of illusions, more coping with facts. Not in a bad way, necessarily, although it can be, and often is, fatal to relationships. Amnesia and a sense of humor, which the author has in good measure!
As far as the institution of marriage and the gender roles traditional to it, I like Betty Friedan’s formulation, or my understanding of it anyway. Loosely translated, a person, male or female, has to have and live their own life. Marriage isn’t an escape from or a substitute for that and doesn’t work if it requires or becomes a way for either party to avoid that. You’re right. This is not the traditional view, and it’s the truth.
So many thoughts and questions. I'm curious what the data tells us about differences between same-sex couples and straight couples and between couples with children compared to couples without and between single people with children compared to couples with children or singles without . I'm curious about alternative social structures such as collectives. I wonder about the role financial resources play in increasing one's choices and opportunities. I wonder about the gap between expectations and reality. And I wonder about trying to have it all at the same time given that a women's peak reproductive years often coincide with peak career years. What if they didn't? Or what if there were creative social policies to support especially women having children and having a career at the same time eg paid parental leave, paid childcare, etc?