I was pleasantly surprised to see your column in the Guardian today. I don’t listen to Taylor Swift but I love that she took control of her own career, and is making the MAGA set just about swallow their tongues.
Thank you! I'm also not a huge Swiftie, but really admire her work and how deftly she navigates her fame. There could be far worse people for legions of girls and women to adore.
I'm a millenial who's been almost born and raised in Iran (i lived a few years in Moscow with my parents during my childhood), a country known for suppressing females' rights (thanks for covering stories about girls and women in Iran in your newsletter "This week in women" and some of your posts). My question is this: why is it soooooooo difficult for me to detach myself from my parents and look out more for myself, do things i dream of doing, and not feel bound to my parents and their families?
Ha. Great question. My answer is: Because you're human! Our family ties are among the strongest we have, and we have evolved for millennia to value, respect, and often subsume our own needs in favor of our parents' and family's wants. This is less acute in the US where we are extremely individualistic, but far more influential in many other cultures -- especially in places where there are less robust social and political institutions, and extended families are primary sources of identity, meaning, and care. What you're describing is SUCH a common experience for people who are barrier-breakers, and whose ambitions and desires are outside of the norm. I think it's possible to hold two things at once: The knowledge that fealty to family has served a really valuable purpose, and also that it imposes extreme limitations, especially on women who want significantly more freedom than we have historically been afforded. I think breaking away from parental expectations is among the hardest things we can do, and is even harder in cultures and families where that breaking-away is not the norm. All of which is to say: It is normal that this is so hard. You also deserve to do what you dream of, and you deserve to live your one life on your own terms. Are there ways to pursue what you want while also showing deep love, if not universal deference, to your parents? Can you see your own ambition, intelligence, and independence partly as credits to how your parents raised you?
tl;dr: It's hard because you're a person in the world. Sending you lots of love and luck navigating this, and a reminder that you do deserve a life on your own terms.
Thanks for your reply and deep understanding, Jill. Yes, there are ways i can do what i dream of, one of which is attending courses and get attendance certificates (i love studying). And about showing deep love to my family members, i'm a natural in this.
Hypothetical: If President Biden were to announce he is not running for reelection today, and you had the power to pick 3 nominees for the Democratic Party to have a series of public debates, who would you pick? It's not so much a question of who you like the most, or who is even most electable (set all that aside), but which mix of 3 do you think would represent the most interesting or illuminating policy questions within the party?
What an interesting question! I think Elizabeth Warren tops my list, because she is one of the most creative and intelligent thinkers and policy-makers around, and a good representation of the progressive wing of the party. Ayanna Pressley is also on the party's progressive wing, and is a brilliant communicator who tends to approach issues from a different perspective than Warren, and is IMO the most underrated member of the Squad. And then can I stick Bill Clinton in there for kicks? Brilliant guy, reshaped the Democratic Party in the 90s in ways that many now agree alienated working class voters and eventually led to the rise of Trump, and remains solidly moderate. I would love to hear him, Pressley and Warren debate and discuss.
I have been reading you with awe and admiration since you were publishing online while still in law school. I have forgotten where I read you. A blog? I have also followed and read Josh Marshall since the run up to Bush v. Gore. And at that time I read a guy from Philly, an economist by training, who was ann acerbic political observer. I have forgotten his name. P
Retired after 54 years as a civil rights lawyer, my new life is enriched immensely by you and a few others, for which I am deeply grateful and always inspired.
I too saw Poor Things and applaud its anachronistic depiction of a remarkably independent young woman in the late 19th Century, including the right to choose one’s own sexual partners. But I share some of the misgivings expressed above.
Hi Jill. Many thanks for sharing your work and expertise. It's always a good and informative read. I would be particularly interested to read an essay or op ed style piece from you about the state of contemporary feminism in the US - in general - written with your international subscribers and followers in mind. Do you think feminism and feminist action is thriving? Or on a decline? US feminist struggles over abortion rights and the long passage of ERA have surprised and shocked many feminists outside the US. From a distance it is difficult to understand how or why Trump appears to have garnered support from right-wing and conservative women. Is that movement growing? If so, why? Who are considered the key feminist leaders in the US right now? Or, is the movement very splintered? It would be great to hear your thoughts. Thanks again.
What reading/resources do you recommend for mothers of sons with toxically masculine fathers? (Those of us who procreated with abusive men?) 🤦 Thank you!
As for raising sons with toxic fathers, have you read Why Does He Do That? by Lundy Bancroft? It's aimed at women who are / have been tied to abusive men, and has some pretty profound insights into why abusers behave the way they do. I suspect it could be useful in explaining to a child, in an age-appropriate way, why a father may act a particular way to his ex or to his son.
Hi Jill, I first learned about you and your work thanks to my partner, who forwarded me some of your Substack posts, then gifted me a subscription. I'm grateful to her for doing so as I've been an avid follower and reader of your work since. As someone who is a Middle East scholar, I have greatly appreciated reading your coverage of the Israel-Hamas war and consistently principled discussion of the tragedy, atrocities, and human suffering, irrespective of the who and the whom.
On a very different subject, I was curious if you had seen "Poor Things" starring Emma Stone and have followed the buzz, mostly positive in my sense, around it?
My partner and I saw the movie last weekend and came away very troubled by what it depicted. In short, it came across to us as a movie written and directed by men, based on a book by a man, about female sexuality. Along with glorifying sex work as the path to female independence and empowerment (and other than the briefest mention of STDs later in the film, never so much as suggesting any of the stakes for women with sex work or for that matter, with sex in general), the plot point about a baby's brain being placed in an adult female's body seemed to have some really sinister undertones about the sexual exploitation of an emotionally adolescent female by much older men. It also seemed to pander to cliched male sexual fantasies about younger women, further driven home by explicit sex scenes, primarily focused on female nudity, naturally. Needless to say, we have both been surprised about the praise, award nominations, etc. Thank you!
Ohhh I have not seen Poor Things! This comment both makes me want to see it and makes me really not want to see it, if that makes sense. To be honest I don't watch that many movies, not for any particular reason, I just... never get around to it? I watch a bit of television but I'm also always behind on new shows. If I do watch Poor Things, though, I will absolutely report back.
I love your new article about France being the first to try to enshrine abortion rights in their Constitution. I was hoping you’d cover our fight to add an Equal Rights Amendment to the U.S. Constitution, that women have been pushing for for over 100 years. State ERA’s like ours in Nevada we just passed in 2022 are being used to protect Reproductive Rights and we think the Federal one is important for that as well as equality in so many areas. Most people don’t even know women are not in the Constitution and we need to educate young women in particular.
What’s your yoga practice consist of? What type of yoga do you do? How’d you get into it? How important to you is your yoga practice? Also, unrelated or maybe not, how many hours a day do you spend writing?!
Ah a non-politics question, I love it. My practice has varied a lot over the years. I've done basic vinyasa flow, Ashtanga, Dharma, more alignment-focused practices... much hinges on where I'm living and what kind of teachers I have access to. I started doing yoga in law school because of back and neck issues, taking a beginner class at the NYU gym. And I really didn't like it very much, but it made me feel better, so I kept going, and before I knew it I was hooked. I've gone through periods where I've practiced every day, and periods where I've only practiced twice a week. Right now, I have access to great yoga, and am doing more advanced alignment-focused classes rather than vinyasa flow, because that's what the strongest teachers at my current studio teach. Right now -- and this has not always been the case -- I go to a formal yoga class probably 5 times a week; on the other two days, I do my own self-practice, usually a very quiet and stretchy Yin following a gym workout, a hike or long walk, or pilates. It sounds cheesy, but yoga is one of the most important aspects of my life. It has helped radically improve how I feel physically, and nothing has done as much for my mental health. When I don't practice, I am more sluggish, depressed, and anxious. So it's been a tremendous gift.
In terms of writing, oy, I write at least 5 days a week for several hours. I also spend a lot of time on intake -- reading the news, listening to podcasts, talking with smart people. And I try to expand out of political nonfiction world to also read fiction books, listen to music, and take in art, which is equally important for my creative process. As is physical movement!
Hi, I’m an overseas voter from a blue state, who just voted for Marianne Williamson for the Democratic nomination. I thought her child care, environmental and foreign policy stances were superior to the president’s even if she had no governmental experience, and voted my conscience when I thought the stakes were low. Any thoughts on this? I’m curious to read your insights on how your brand of feminism interacts with more leftist readers
Oh man. So I like many of Marianne's general policies, but unfortunately she's a total nutcase and just not a very serious person. Her policy proposals are not particularly specific, and many are unrealistic; she speaks more in the language of healing and feelings than actual political solutions. Voting for her in a blue state primary is a nice way to send a signal that you want the Democratic Party to move left, though :)
I have really enjoyed reading your work. My question is a general, asking a smart person (feminist) to discuss a random topic, question. I am wondering if you have any thoughts you would like to share on Dr. Srinivasan's "The Right to Sex". I know it has been out for a couple of years, but really, I cannot get enough. Also are there recent feminist political/philosophical texts that have really struck a cord with you in the last year or two? Thanks.
Ah I honestly haven't read it! It's been on my list since it came out, but I just haven't gotten to it. Thank you for the reminder that I should pick it up...
As a Vietnam-era veteran in 1979, in San Jose, CA, using my GI bill to study Behavioral Science Theories, I learned of a local Congressman's proposal for bill Congress H.R. 2206, "The National Service Act" Half the bill proposed what 13 years later under President Clinton became AmeriCorps, and CNCS agency that runs it, but H.R. 2206 goal was much larger volunteer community service programs, locally/nationwide. On this topic, I was calling for a 100,000 youth Energy Efficiency Corps due to my fears of a future U.S. war over oil in the Persian Gulf, but I also had just learned about global warming theory. Strangely, nobody seems to care for this idea or the more powerful second idea I want to share. This bill also proposed to challenge all boys & girls between 17 and 18 birthdays to local/nationwide one-year, on-and-off civic values talks/education, and marketing of voluntary service-learning experiences with non-profits or contracted community or military service. H.R. 2206 proposed using "only" the male-only army draft registration as the means to this youth wake-up call to being voting-age citizens invested in productive MAGA activities.
After 9/11, I started getting photos with experts and leaders as I shared info on this American solution to domestic and national security. Still, everybody seemed apathetic to a pragmatic (radical) catalyst of a positive, constructive thinking challenge like this. Do you have any answers? Here are some links to more recent events that show Congress coming close in Dec. 2021. Still, Senator Josh Hawley's hysteria for the entire Senate debate over Christmas stopped the simple idea of adding young women to draft signup male-only and the idea of using it as a calling for youth talks on civic values and voluntary constructive community service activities. Please help me understand my experiences of nearly 100% silence.
Ha. It's a lot! But it's also a lot of fun, and I spend a lot of my time thinking / reading / talking about politics and feminism, so that makes it easier to put pen to page. But yes hopefully someday I'll have a job where I get paid to write, like, twice a week.
I was pleasantly surprised to see your column in the Guardian today. I don’t listen to Taylor Swift but I love that she took control of her own career, and is making the MAGA set just about swallow their tongues.
Thank you! I'm also not a huge Swiftie, but really admire her work and how deftly she navigates her fame. There could be far worse people for legions of girls and women to adore.
I'm a millenial who's been almost born and raised in Iran (i lived a few years in Moscow with my parents during my childhood), a country known for suppressing females' rights (thanks for covering stories about girls and women in Iran in your newsletter "This week in women" and some of your posts). My question is this: why is it soooooooo difficult for me to detach myself from my parents and look out more for myself, do things i dream of doing, and not feel bound to my parents and their families?
Ha. Great question. My answer is: Because you're human! Our family ties are among the strongest we have, and we have evolved for millennia to value, respect, and often subsume our own needs in favor of our parents' and family's wants. This is less acute in the US where we are extremely individualistic, but far more influential in many other cultures -- especially in places where there are less robust social and political institutions, and extended families are primary sources of identity, meaning, and care. What you're describing is SUCH a common experience for people who are barrier-breakers, and whose ambitions and desires are outside of the norm. I think it's possible to hold two things at once: The knowledge that fealty to family has served a really valuable purpose, and also that it imposes extreme limitations, especially on women who want significantly more freedom than we have historically been afforded. I think breaking away from parental expectations is among the hardest things we can do, and is even harder in cultures and families where that breaking-away is not the norm. All of which is to say: It is normal that this is so hard. You also deserve to do what you dream of, and you deserve to live your one life on your own terms. Are there ways to pursue what you want while also showing deep love, if not universal deference, to your parents? Can you see your own ambition, intelligence, and independence partly as credits to how your parents raised you?
tl;dr: It's hard because you're a person in the world. Sending you lots of love and luck navigating this, and a reminder that you do deserve a life on your own terms.
Thanks for your reply and deep understanding, Jill. Yes, there are ways i can do what i dream of, one of which is attending courses and get attendance certificates (i love studying). And about showing deep love to my family members, i'm a natural in this.
Hypothetical: If President Biden were to announce he is not running for reelection today, and you had the power to pick 3 nominees for the Democratic Party to have a series of public debates, who would you pick? It's not so much a question of who you like the most, or who is even most electable (set all that aside), but which mix of 3 do you think would represent the most interesting or illuminating policy questions within the party?
What an interesting question! I think Elizabeth Warren tops my list, because she is one of the most creative and intelligent thinkers and policy-makers around, and a good representation of the progressive wing of the party. Ayanna Pressley is also on the party's progressive wing, and is a brilliant communicator who tends to approach issues from a different perspective than Warren, and is IMO the most underrated member of the Squad. And then can I stick Bill Clinton in there for kicks? Brilliant guy, reshaped the Democratic Party in the 90s in ways that many now agree alienated working class voters and eventually led to the rise of Trump, and remains solidly moderate. I would love to hear him, Pressley and Warren debate and discuss.
I have been reading you with awe and admiration since you were publishing online while still in law school. I have forgotten where I read you. A blog? I have also followed and read Josh Marshall since the run up to Bush v. Gore. And at that time I read a guy from Philly, an economist by training, who was ann acerbic political observer. I have forgotten his name. P
Retired after 54 years as a civil rights lawyer, my new life is enriched immensely by you and a few others, for which I am deeply grateful and always inspired.
I too saw Poor Things and applaud its anachronistic depiction of a remarkably independent young woman in the late 19th Century, including the right to choose one’s own sexual partners. But I share some of the misgivings expressed above.
Be well and stay safe in Hong Kong.
Hi Jill. Many thanks for sharing your work and expertise. It's always a good and informative read. I would be particularly interested to read an essay or op ed style piece from you about the state of contemporary feminism in the US - in general - written with your international subscribers and followers in mind. Do you think feminism and feminist action is thriving? Or on a decline? US feminist struggles over abortion rights and the long passage of ERA have surprised and shocked many feminists outside the US. From a distance it is difficult to understand how or why Trump appears to have garnered support from right-wing and conservative women. Is that movement growing? If so, why? Who are considered the key feminist leaders in the US right now? Or, is the movement very splintered? It would be great to hear your thoughts. Thanks again.
This is a great idea! I will note this down and start crafting a longer essay... thank you!
What reading/resources do you recommend for mothers of sons with toxically masculine fathers? (Those of us who procreated with abusive men?) 🤦 Thank you!
Wow, great but tough question! I really like this general guide on raising feminist sons: https://www.nytimes.com/2017/06/02/upshot/how-to-raise-a-feminist-son.html
As for raising sons with toxic fathers, have you read Why Does He Do That? by Lundy Bancroft? It's aimed at women who are / have been tied to abusive men, and has some pretty profound insights into why abusers behave the way they do. I suspect it could be useful in explaining to a child, in an age-appropriate way, why a father may act a particular way to his ex or to his son.
Anyone else have suggestions?
Thank you for your response and suggestions.
Hi Jill, I first learned about you and your work thanks to my partner, who forwarded me some of your Substack posts, then gifted me a subscription. I'm grateful to her for doing so as I've been an avid follower and reader of your work since. As someone who is a Middle East scholar, I have greatly appreciated reading your coverage of the Israel-Hamas war and consistently principled discussion of the tragedy, atrocities, and human suffering, irrespective of the who and the whom.
On a very different subject, I was curious if you had seen "Poor Things" starring Emma Stone and have followed the buzz, mostly positive in my sense, around it?
My partner and I saw the movie last weekend and came away very troubled by what it depicted. In short, it came across to us as a movie written and directed by men, based on a book by a man, about female sexuality. Along with glorifying sex work as the path to female independence and empowerment (and other than the briefest mention of STDs later in the film, never so much as suggesting any of the stakes for women with sex work or for that matter, with sex in general), the plot point about a baby's brain being placed in an adult female's body seemed to have some really sinister undertones about the sexual exploitation of an emotionally adolescent female by much older men. It also seemed to pander to cliched male sexual fantasies about younger women, further driven home by explicit sex scenes, primarily focused on female nudity, naturally. Needless to say, we have both been surprised about the praise, award nominations, etc. Thank you!
Ohhh I have not seen Poor Things! This comment both makes me want to see it and makes me really not want to see it, if that makes sense. To be honest I don't watch that many movies, not for any particular reason, I just... never get around to it? I watch a bit of television but I'm also always behind on new shows. If I do watch Poor Things, though, I will absolutely report back.
Tracy Clark-Flory on Substack wrote a great review of the troublesome aspects of this movie
Thanks for the head's up. I read her review and now have no interest in seeing the movie.
Thank you very much Katie. I had missed her review, so I will check it out now!
I love your new article about France being the first to try to enshrine abortion rights in their Constitution. I was hoping you’d cover our fight to add an Equal Rights Amendment to the U.S. Constitution, that women have been pushing for for over 100 years. State ERA’s like ours in Nevada we just passed in 2022 are being used to protect Reproductive Rights and we think the Federal one is important for that as well as equality in so many areas. Most people don’t even know women are not in the Constitution and we need to educate young women in particular.
Fascinating keep your work flowing much appreciated. Keeps me alert and engaged.
thanks so much for your fabulous writing...wanting to share this...
https://www.theedgemedia.org/elitism-and-the-rest-of-us-as-new-semester-begins/
What’s your yoga practice consist of? What type of yoga do you do? How’d you get into it? How important to you is your yoga practice? Also, unrelated or maybe not, how many hours a day do you spend writing?!
Ah a non-politics question, I love it. My practice has varied a lot over the years. I've done basic vinyasa flow, Ashtanga, Dharma, more alignment-focused practices... much hinges on where I'm living and what kind of teachers I have access to. I started doing yoga in law school because of back and neck issues, taking a beginner class at the NYU gym. And I really didn't like it very much, but it made me feel better, so I kept going, and before I knew it I was hooked. I've gone through periods where I've practiced every day, and periods where I've only practiced twice a week. Right now, I have access to great yoga, and am doing more advanced alignment-focused classes rather than vinyasa flow, because that's what the strongest teachers at my current studio teach. Right now -- and this has not always been the case -- I go to a formal yoga class probably 5 times a week; on the other two days, I do my own self-practice, usually a very quiet and stretchy Yin following a gym workout, a hike or long walk, or pilates. It sounds cheesy, but yoga is one of the most important aspects of my life. It has helped radically improve how I feel physically, and nothing has done as much for my mental health. When I don't practice, I am more sluggish, depressed, and anxious. So it's been a tremendous gift.
In terms of writing, oy, I write at least 5 days a week for several hours. I also spend a lot of time on intake -- reading the news, listening to podcasts, talking with smart people. And I try to expand out of political nonfiction world to also read fiction books, listen to music, and take in art, which is equally important for my creative process. As is physical movement!
Love all of these questions! I was traveling over the weekend but working through them now...
Hi, I’m an overseas voter from a blue state, who just voted for Marianne Williamson for the Democratic nomination. I thought her child care, environmental and foreign policy stances were superior to the president’s even if she had no governmental experience, and voted my conscience when I thought the stakes were low. Any thoughts on this? I’m curious to read your insights on how your brand of feminism interacts with more leftist readers
Oh man. So I like many of Marianne's general policies, but unfortunately she's a total nutcase and just not a very serious person. Her policy proposals are not particularly specific, and many are unrealistic; she speaks more in the language of healing and feelings than actual political solutions. Voting for her in a blue state primary is a nice way to send a signal that you want the Democratic Party to move left, though :)
I appreciate the response, much respect and gratitude
I have really enjoyed reading your work. My question is a general, asking a smart person (feminist) to discuss a random topic, question. I am wondering if you have any thoughts you would like to share on Dr. Srinivasan's "The Right to Sex". I know it has been out for a couple of years, but really, I cannot get enough. Also are there recent feminist political/philosophical texts that have really struck a cord with you in the last year or two? Thanks.
Ah I honestly haven't read it! It's been on my list since it came out, but I just haven't gotten to it. Thank you for the reminder that I should pick it up...
As a Vietnam-era veteran in 1979, in San Jose, CA, using my GI bill to study Behavioral Science Theories, I learned of a local Congressman's proposal for bill Congress H.R. 2206, "The National Service Act" Half the bill proposed what 13 years later under President Clinton became AmeriCorps, and CNCS agency that runs it, but H.R. 2206 goal was much larger volunteer community service programs, locally/nationwide. On this topic, I was calling for a 100,000 youth Energy Efficiency Corps due to my fears of a future U.S. war over oil in the Persian Gulf, but I also had just learned about global warming theory. Strangely, nobody seems to care for this idea or the more powerful second idea I want to share. This bill also proposed to challenge all boys & girls between 17 and 18 birthdays to local/nationwide one-year, on-and-off civic values talks/education, and marketing of voluntary service-learning experiences with non-profits or contracted community or military service. H.R. 2206 proposed using "only" the male-only army draft registration as the means to this youth wake-up call to being voting-age citizens invested in productive MAGA activities.
After 9/11, I started getting photos with experts and leaders as I shared info on this American solution to domestic and national security. Still, everybody seemed apathetic to a pragmatic (radical) catalyst of a positive, constructive thinking challenge like this. Do you have any answers? Here are some links to more recent events that show Congress coming close in Dec. 2021. Still, Senator Josh Hawley's hysteria for the entire Senate debate over Christmas stopped the simple idea of adding young women to draft signup male-only and the idea of using it as a calling for youth talks on civic values and voluntary constructive community service activities. Please help me understand my experiences of nearly 100% silence.
https://www.politico.com/news/2021/12/06/ndaa-women-draft-dropped-523829
https://www.hawley.senate.gov/hawley-leads-colleagues-effort-remove-ndaa-provision-forcing-women-register-draft
https://www.facebook.com/notes/peter-jesella/peters-written-oral-remarks-to-national-commission-on-military-national-and-publ/2196275167117721/
https://digital.library.unt.edu/ark:/67531/metadc1724233/?q=Inspired%20to%20Serve
https://www.supremecourt.gov/Search.aspx?FileName=/docket/docketfiles/html/public%5C20-928.html
https://twitter.com/pjesella
How do you write so many columns each week?
Ha. It's a lot! But it's also a lot of fun, and I spend a lot of my time thinking / reading / talking about politics and feminism, so that makes it easier to put pen to page. But yes hopefully someday I'll have a job where I get paid to write, like, twice a week.